


No Rest for the Ostentatious

by ghostb0y



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, March Eridan, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, i wrote this for my bae bc this is her otp, it was on ff net first, its just porn, never got around to putting it on here though, so do i just tag this is pwp?, um sure, yeah ok stop reading the tags you loser get to the fic already
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 02:13:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1801624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostb0y/pseuds/ghostb0y
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this is literally just porn</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Rest for the Ostentatious

            He smacked his lips at his reflection, the freshly applied violet lipstick obliging with a loud ‘pop’. The bustier wound tightly around his abdomen bore his symbol in what he thought to be the most alluring shade of blood purple imaginable. The plaid miniskirt hanging low on his hips swished lightly as he stood, giving the opposite side of the room a small flash of his dark violet panties. He was almost ready, just a few touch-ups to his pigtails and he would be good—

            The slam of a door somewhere below told Eridan that he didn’t have much time—no time at all really. He tossed his scarf around his neck and darted to a darkish corner of the block, hidden somewhat behind the recuperacoon, just as the door was thrown open to reveal a fairly pissed-looking Sollux. He raged into the room, stomping over the wires scattered about his floor and detaching a few from the beehives on the other side of the room.

            Eridan watched from his hidden spot as Sollux slammed himself down into the chair in front of his husktop, giving Eridan an almost-full view of the lowblood’s back. He was typing away at some really long code, his back hunched over the desk as his fingers flew across the keyboard.

            _Perfect,_ Eridan thought, creeping silently toward Sol from behind. The truth was, he really wasn’t thinking much at all. He hadn’t been since that encounter with Gamzee the other day…

            He really didn’t care at the moment, though. All he could really focus on for the past few hours was _Sol._ And he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to at least get something.

            Sollux tensed up immediately when Eridan’s smooth arms wound their way around his neck in a way that beautifully accentuated the slight muscle tone in his shoulders and neck, but he barely had a second to think before he was thrown across the room with a loud snap of psionics, bound to the wall, his feet no longer touching the ground. A series of bubbly choking sounds emitted from his throat as the static pressure condensed there, and his ear fins flared along with his eyes as he struggled to breathe.

            Still glaring at the computer screen, Sollux said, “ED, what the fuck do you think you’re doing in my hive?” He turned around in the chair, pushing away from the desk and rolling to a stop in front of the writhing Eridan stuck to the wall, still unable to breathe correctly. Sol glared up at Eridan through flashing bicolored glasses, and what he wouldn’t give to rip those glasses off his face and look into those blank, bifurcated eyes. Well, he couldn’t really do that at all when his wrists were bound tight as hell to the green wall that was getting so friendly with his back. After a moment of incredulous inspection, Sollux covered his face with his hand and burst into laughter.

            “What the fuck are you _wearing_ , ED? Theriouthly? Oh my god-ahahaha.” He was absolutely cracking up, and Eridan still couldn’t breathe so he couldn’t make a smartass remark like he knew he would if he could. Then, as if Sol could read his mind, he fell to the floor before the yellowblood, limp and clutching his throat, his face flushed a violent purple.

            Once Eridan caught his breath he sat up, still rubbing his neck as the pain slowly began to fade away. The scarf had come off his neck when he fell and he reached out to grab it, but before he could wrap his fingers around it another crack of psionics sounded through the room and, covered in red and blue sparks, it zoomed away from his hand and into Sollux’s.

            “Givve it back, asshole,” Eridan glared and darted toward the pissblooded wretch, his hand snapping out to retrieve the scarf, all thought once again leaving him. His hand was stopped in midair, the static raising the small hairs on his arm and setting an ominous, inconsistent red and blue flicker of light over the two of them. “Yeah, I don’t think that’th gonna happen,” Sol said, a malicious tone in his voice that was almost high-pitched enough not to be arousing. And by almost, I mean it was miles away.

            The colors flashed and crackled behind Sollux’s glasses, making him look more terrifying, arousing, and nerdy than before, and Eridan couldn’t stand it. He was going to make a fool of himself anyway, why not go all out? And so he did.

            “The fuck do you think you’re doing?” Sollux inquired as Eridan rose to his feet, making himself taller than the other. Sol followed shortly after, the chair rolling noisily behind him as he stood up to his full height, much taller than Eridan. He tilted his head back, looked straight up into Sollux’s eyes, snaked his arm up and over his shoulders, and stood on his tiptoes to bring their faces clashing together.

            Sollux made a guttural noise of disgust and pushed Eridan away, slamming him into the wall that was still behind him. Giving a small involuntary whine and reaching out to grab Sol’s shirt, Eridan pulled him in again and flung his arms around his neck desperately, groaning breathily into the kiss. Sollux grabbed him by a pigtail and yanked him away, eliciting a higher pitched moan of pain from the seadweller. Eridan, clutching his head and finally finding words inside him, reached out once again to the troll in front of him, who was turning away presumably to just ignore him.

            “S-Sol, please, I wwant you,” Eridan stuttered unconsciously and his fingers brushed the dark fabric of the other’s shirt. The troll in question turned around, eyebrows raised, accentuating the slight smirk turning the corners of his lips up.

            “Wow ED, I never thought you were one to beg,” Sollux retorted, turning back around to face Eridan, even going so far as to pin him back against the wall. “You alwayth theemed like you’d be a dom, ethpecially with a lowblood like me.” He took the seadweller’s wrists into each of his hands, immobilizing them on either side of his head. “But hey, if it’ll get you the fuck out of my thpathe then why not.”

            Eridan almost couldn’t believe his ears. His eyes widened for a split second before a smug smile descended upon his face. “Givvin’ in to me already, are wwe?”

            A grimace replaced the smirk on Sollux’s lips. “God I fucking hate you,” he murmured, then, without any warning, crushed Eridan’s jaw with his hand as he roughly brought his lips down onto Eri’s, which were still smooth and slightly moist from the lipstick. At first, Ampora couldn’t think anything but, _Holy fuck, holy fuck, this is Sollux Captor, the guy who hates me just for breathin’, and he’s_ kissin’ _me, fuckin’ kissin’ me, oh cod,_ but after having a second to process this insane shit he all but melted into the taller lowblood, his arms once again tight around his neck and his sharp teeth nipping not-so-lightly at his bottom lip.

            Eventually, he doesn’t exactly remember _when_ , Captor had given up bending down and pushed Eridan tighter against the wall, holding him suspended above the floor with just his body. He could tell the seadweller was getting restless and, to be honest he was too. He was grinding against the highblood mercilessly, relishing in his loud proclamations of pleasure and about to remove his shirt, when a flash of blue caught his eye from the floor and a great idea popped into his head.

            Eridan cried out in frustration as he heard that familiar crackle and suddenly his arms and legs were unable to move, leaving him suspended against the wall as Sollux bent down, picking the long scarf from where it lay forgotten on the floor until now. “Wwhat are you doin’ wwith—hey, wwhat the fuck?” he exclaimed, thrashing as wildly as he could manage as the soft blue fabric was placed over his eyes and tied there.

            “Thhut the hell up and deal with it, Ampora,” Sol chastised, one-handedly removing the now sticky with sweat shirt from his torso and the embarrassingly wet pants from his legs, leaving him in just his boxers. He eyed a somewhat freaked-out looking Eridan, still fully clothed [if you could even call those _clothes_ ], and clicked his forked tongue in disappointment. _I wonder if I can just…_ he thought, focusing on the scraps of cloth barely covering the jackass in front of him.

            Eridan wailed in rage as the seams on his clothes were all but vaporized leaving him completely exposed, including the writhing bulge and dripping nook that had barely been contained before. He tried desperately yet unsuccessfully to free his arms from their entrapment, arching his back as far as he could away from the wall. Sollux grinned and watched Eridan for a minute, basking in the choked whimpers coming from his captor. After that moment though, he couldn’t stand it any longer.

            Eridan’s whimpers were effectively ceased as Sol’s warm body was pressed against his, their mouths clashing together once again. Sollux wasted no time at all in shoving his tongue down Eridan’s throat, unable to stop the smallest of smiles from forming at the moan that elicited from the other’s mouth at the sudden contact, both to his mouth and elsewhere; specifically, the hand that had found its way to the wriggling violet appendage between his legs.

            Another, louder moan emitted from the seadweller as another crackle of psionics sounded and suddenly his nook was being stretched, pounded into by nothing but telepathic force. “ _Ohh,_ oh _fuck_ Sol,” he whined, horns over heels in bliss. He arched his back into Sol’s chest, his knees bending as he once again tried to free himself from the invisible restraints. He was fine with how it was then, elated even, but he wanted to wraps his legs around Sol’s waist; he wanted to scrape his nails down his back, draw a little blood maybe. He wanted _contact_. “Sol, p-please, _ahh_ , I wwanna _touch_ you.”

            Sollux, far beyond the point of no return by now, decided to just fuck it and humor him. He released his hold on Eridan’s limbs easily, given that he was making for a pretty good distraction anyway. He prevented the shorter seadweller from falling back to his normal height with his own body, sweat making movements a little more difficult as Eridan wound himself around Sol. He roughly gripped Ampora’s ass, earning a short cry of glee muffled by mouths. Eridan retaliated by shoving one hand down Sol’s boxers and pushing away from the wall with the other. The pair fell clumsily to the floor, Sollux landing on his back with Eridan straddling his thin hips.

            Sol growled and fastened Eridan’s knees to the floor, yanking his head back with his pigtails, rewarded with a soft, high moan riddled with unintelligible word mixed with his name as he bit down on his neck hard enough to draw blood, but still avoiding the gills. He wasn’t _that_ much of a dick, though he did run his tongue over them, the forked tips leaving two parallel lines of wet, yellow tinted spit.

            Sollux could see Eridan trying to rid himself of the scarf around his eyes, but that wasn’t happening. Instead, his hands somehow magically got stuck to Sol’s body [wink wonk science], so his only option was to give up on it. Eridan complied, his hands moving south once again, this time stopping to actually take the boxers off instead of working around them. He ground against Sol, his bulge practically being devoured by Sol’s bulges. _Bulges. The fucker had two of them._ Oh, but did they make him scream [spoiler alert; yeah, they did].

            Eridan cried out in pleasure, moving his hand down to cup the exposed parts of Sollux’s bulges earning him a breathy moan from the lowblood. Now it was Sol who was getting restless, and he silently thanked whatever deity was out there that he was in control here.

Sollux grabbed him by the horns, pulling his face so close their cheeks were almost touching and, in a voice hardly above a whisper, spades practically shooting from his eyes, said, “Oh for fuck’th thake jutht ride me already.”

            Eridan gasped in pleasure at the rough contact, arching his back as his webbed toes curled. Bringing his thin fingers away from the two writhing bulges in their grasp, he mewled with positive elation as one uncurled itself from around his bulge and slithered its way into his nook. With a not-so-gentle squeeze from Sollux, Eridan composed himself enough to bring his hips slowly up and then down again, his tense ass shielded from the cool air of Sol’s respiteblock by his hands, which were now grasping each cheek as if his life depended on it.

            Sollux groaned much louder than he would ever admit, arching up just the slightest amount into Eridan’s surprisingly talented hips. This was fucking fantastic, but since they were already this far, why take just minimal pleasure? This called for a new position.

            Eridan gasped as he was roughly flipped onto his back, his legs slung over Sol’s tensed shoulders. The added friction and leverage made Eridan scream again with the first thrust, getting embarrassingly louder and louder with each one. His hands left raw yellow lines on Sol’s back and he tried once again to get rid of the scarf hindering his eyesight. Distracted as he was, Sollux let one of the seadweller’s hands free by mistake, finding the scarf thrown halfway across the room in much less time than seemed possible.

            Eridan caught a glimpse of Sollux’s face, smeared with his purple lipstick and lips swollen pissblood yellow, before an especially well-placed thrust sent white stars shooting through his mind. “ _Aahhh, ooh,_ fuck Sol, _aah,_ d-do that again,” he moaned, nearing the end of his rope.

            Sollux gladly complied, thrusting deeper and harder into Eridan, thriving in the loud, somewhat bubbly moans eliciting from the seadweller’s throat. His own moans were nothing to brush off though, he could admit that much, if only to himself. “ _Ohh,_ mmmh, _Sol, aah!_ ”

            Much too distracted to keep up appearances, the last flicker of psionics holding Eridan so close flickered out, replaced by a very real, very warm, and _very_ aroused feeling down below. “Thhit ED, _ahh fuck,”_ he cried out against his will, warmth pooling in his groin as he pounded into Eridan’s.

            They were both so close they could almost taste it, but through the haze of sex clouding Eridan’s mind he remembered something essential. “S-Sol, _mmh,_ bucket!”

            Sollux reached somewhere to the left, Eridan didn’t really care enough to pay attention, and pulled a pail from the floor. Sol got to his knees, wrapping Eridan’s legs around his waist once again as he positioned the pail under them, Eridan still moaning like a bitch from the bulge writhing inside him. Sollux gave an especially hard thrust that sent Eridan plummeting over the edge, filling the room with cries of Sol’s name and random strings of profanity, accompanied by the wet sounds of his genetic material filling the pail. One more thrust made Sollux lose it, his yellow cum mixing with the violet as he moaned Eridan’s name, moving the bucket just in time to collapse where it had previously stood.

            Half a minute of heavy breathing and Sollux had had enough, shoving a sweaty and half-asleep Eridan off of him and standing up, throwing his boxers back on and sitting back in front of his husktop. Without looking up or faltering in his coding, he said, “Okay, now get the hell out of my hive, or at leatht my rethpiteblock. I _do_ have thhit to do, you know.”

            Eridan, too out of it to remember that he had actually brought clothes over here, tossed Sollux’s shirt over his head, the hem coming down just below his bruised ass, shoved himself up from the floor, and wrapped his arms around Sol’s neck from behind again, though this time he didn’t react at all, continuing his typing without looking up. Eridan sighed, the end of it tapering into a sort of growl as he released the lowblood. “You’re an ass, ya know that?” he growled, leaving the room and slamming the door shut behind him.

            Sollux shrugged, muttering to himself as he typed, even though he knew he couldn’t hear him, “Dammit, jutht get out of my hive, jackathh.”

            The absence of a door opening or closing proved that that wasn’t going to happen, and Sol dreaded going out there later and having to face him.

**Author's Note:**

> if youre reading this youre probably dead


End file.
